How To Get Rid of L
by Sashocirrione
Summary: After seeing L scream and fall out of his chair at the mere mention of shinigami, Light comes up with a new plan to get rid of the detective. No pairings.


**Title: **"How To Get Rid of L"

**Author: **Sashocirrione

**Spoilers: **MAJOR Spoilers for everything up to around the time various videos are being sent into Sakura TV. MAJOR spoilers for "Death Note: Another Note: The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases."

**Warnings: **Rated T. Mention of suicide.

**Summary: **After seeing L scream and fall out of his chair at the mere mention of shinigami, Light comes up with a new plan to get rid of the detective.

**Pairings: **None.

**Additional Notes: **All the canon events previous to this have occurred as normal, but from then on, things change.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note, and I do not make any money from these writings.

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Light had been truly amused by the reaction. As soon as the second Kira's video mentioned "shinigami" L screamed like a girl, a high-pitched, terrified scream, and fell out of his chair. Then he sat on the floor, shaking, saying, "Shinigami? Am I supposed to believe that is real?"

L didn't calm down even slightly until Light explained his theory that "shinigami" was probably just a code word for the killing power used by both Kiras. Of course something nonsensical such as a shinigami couldn't exist. All the while, Ryuk chuckled behind Light's shoulder, tickled at the irony of such a conversation taking place when a shinigami was actually standing in the room.

L seemed to want to believe Light's fake theory, but he was still clearly unsettled. The detective had been freaked out, something Light had never once seen, not even a little bit. But it wasn't just any freak out. It was a major meltdown.

_Bingo. I've found L's weakness. Now, it's time to go home and figure out a plan to exploit it perfectly._

When Light thought things through, he came to one conclusion. He needed to make Ryuk visible to L. Light discussed his plan with Ryuk, and got the shinigami to agree not to discuss anything meaningful in front of L, such as notebooks, or writing names, or any hint that might let L deduce how Kira's power actually worked. But, Ryuk could do or say anything else he wanted, including outright accusing Light of being Kira.

Light tried out his plan at the very next meeting of the task force. It was a discussion of the diary page the second Kira had sent, that supposedly showed various places to meet. Light was sure the second Kira meant to meet at Aoyama, but why risk it? Meeting someone with shinigami eyes was nearly suicidal unless Light could get the upper hand very fast, and there was no guarantee of that happening. No, Light already had a good way to get rid of L.

Light arrived at the meeting with a tiny sliver of death note paper lodged underneath one fingernail. He waited until the main points of the find-the-second-Kira plan had already been discussed, and the details were being hashed out, then approached L's chair from behind and put his hands on the man's shoulders. He didn't press down the scrap of death note paper, not yet.

L immediately tensed and said, "Light, what are you doing?"

"I thought I might help you out. You look tense. I can give you a massage."

L relaxed slightly under Light's grip, and then Light began to prod and rub in little circles. L grunted with the pressure.

Light said, "You'll get used to it. We are friends, after all."

Light waited until he'd gotten a good amount of the massage done and Ryuk was standing behind him, well out of L's view. L was starting to truly relax and lean into Light's firm prodding as he continued discussing small details with the task force members. Light chose that time to press his fingertip against L's neck, and then he brought the finger to his mouth as if rubbing at his lip and surreptitiously swallowed the bit of death note.

Light continued the massage until Ryuk suddenly said, "Light, how many people do you think you'll kill today?"

L screamed and launched himself from his chair, landing on his feet and spinning around to look behind Light. When his eyes fell on Ryuk, L ran backwards at a remarkable speed, slamming full-force into the wall and falling to the floor, stunned and shaking.

Soichiro said, "Ryuzaki, are you okay? Did you cut yourself on a furniture tack?"

L's eyes were feverish, wild, fastened on Ryuk. He raised a shaking arm to point and said, "That... that... that thing... can nobody else see it?"

Aizawa said, "Ryuzaki, you are tense. You've been working too hard. You need to sleep sometime."

L screamed again and began to drag himself across the floor, slowly and painfully, as if he were injured. He twisted his neck around at an odd angle to keep his gaze on Ryuk the entire time.

Ryuk said, "You know, Light is Kira, just like you thought. But, you'll never catch him. You'll die the second he decides to stop playing with you and gets serious."

L's eyes were rolling up into his head, showing the whites, and his teeth were chattering. He stopped crawling and rolled himself up, hugging his knees to his chest protectively. L was a shaking mess, curled into a ball on the floor. He started mumbling, "It's back. It's back. The hallucination is back."

The entire task force gathered around L as the constant babbling continued, a ceaseless rhythm like dripping water. They poked him a few times, but he screamed each time so they stopped it, and he didn't answer any of their questions.

Watari's logo appeared on the screen of a laptop open on a nearby table, and Watari's voice said, "Ryuzaki, what is wrong?"

L muttered, "It's the same sort of thing. The monster that hovered over B the night before A's suicide. This one looks very like it. I'm hallucinating again. Something bad will happen."

Watari tried to calm L, to tell him that of course a hallucination couldn't harm him, to tell him that a man of logic should be able to stand up to things like this, but L simply whimpered and became more and more incoherent. The posture he was curled up in became tighter and tighter, nearly circular with his head buried protectively within, like a hedgehog. The shaking never stopped. During the entire experience, Ryuk continued to taunt L with little threats.

Finally, all the task force members left. L never contacted them again. Light found his reign as Kira unchallenged, except that the annoying second Kira kept sending videos trying to meet him. Like he'd ever be that stupid!

After a year, the videos ceased and Light continued being Kira with nobody to bother him, until a drunk roommate at college accidentally set his apartment on fire, burning the death note along with everything else. Light forgot everything, and he began having his own hallucinations, of apples that floated in the air and ate themselves, but never when anyone else was around, only when he was alone. Too proud to seek psychiatric help, he simply endured it and tried to pretend he was normal.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

This little fic was inspired by a prompt at the death note fan fiction contest over at livejournal (there is a link in my fan fiction dot net profile).

Wow, I actually wrote something with no smut content whatsoever! Not even a mention! Unless, perhaps, you count a tiny bit of dialogue largely copied from the anime foot massage scene (but everyone knows that scene isn't smut, it's supposedly religious symbolism!).


End file.
